As I Mature

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care

Some people are just assholes

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust

And it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes

After that, you’d better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others

They are more screwed up than you think

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting

Long after you think that you’re finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do

Unless we are celebrities

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first

The passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house

One of your kids did it (kids include pets)

I’ve learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon

And all the less important ones just never go away

Share this passage with all your pals, who knows something good might happen

If not, TOUGH SHIT!