One lovely rainy day, a friend and me decided to take the bike out for a long drive. A flat tire and a couple of joints later, he asked me, "Lakshmi, what does love mean to you?"
In my usual, know-it-all manner I began to answer and then faltered. How do you describe a feeling? Yes its been defined, people swear by it and have died for it. But how do you know that what you feel is love?
I've been in love, even as I write this entry, I'm in love, but even today if you ask me to describe what love is to me, I'm short of words. Its not because I'm fickle, I'm anything but (even if I say so myself), but the emotions to me are so strong when I love someone that I find it hard to describe it in words.
Nonetheless, I'm gonna make an attempt to see if I can put down my feelings in words without sounding demented!
I'm in love with a man that can't love me back (the reasons and frustrations there of I'll leave for another entry). The initial attraction was ofcourse his looks and the way he spoke, but as I got to know him every little thing about him seemed interesting. He could make me laugh when I had no reason to laugh, he can make me cry for no apparent reasons too. When I think of him I feel happy and sad all at the same time. I feel like I should be forgetting him because its a doomed relationship, but the thought of him not being in my life (even if it is just a name on my facebook page) makes my stomach do somersaults.
So love to me is an emotion that encompasses every other emotion within itself. You learn to laugh, cry, be happy, be sad, be frustrated and angry and forgiving and vengeful, you see yourself as the worlds most beautiful person and worry at the same time about not being good enough. Its an emotion that gives you strength but makes you vulnerable to doubts. For some people its life and death itself.
To be very honest, I still feel I haven't done justice to the emotion, but someday I hope to be able to put into words what my heart really feels.
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